December twenty-sixth.

beach. sunshine. warmth.

ivy sleeping. boys playing with dad. swimming. splashing. taking pictures.

eating oranges. grapefruit. carrots. drinking water.

meeting new people.

spencer playing in the sand.

lance kicking a beach ball. ball floats away. bye-bye beach ball.

happy. thankful. excited.

sunburns. smiles. tears.

clear sky. ocean sounds.

sand castles. collecting shells.

family. love. joy.

perfection.

because i love them.

I was once given advice from a friend that I've come to appreciate greatly. It was advice she was given by her mom and although not originally intended for me, it was something I needed to hear. I'm surprised at how much I've revealed in the past in my blog. My struggles mainly. I guess b/c I'm not talking to someone's face it feels like a "tell all" journal. A place I come to to let out my frustrations, excitement etc. Although I've received many helpful and encouraging comments, I realized after talking to my friend, that I didn't want to be so negative about my boys.

The advice. . . "you need to stop writing negative stuff about them or they'll come to believe it and become that person." I guess I always assumed that if my boys didn't "know" any better about my writing about them, then there wouldn't be a problem. I assumed that if I didn't say anything to their face then they wouldn't be able to become something other than decent men. I feel I was wrong in those assumptions. Mainly b/c actions speak louder than words. I don't tell them they're "rotten boys" or anything like that. (I don't feel they're rotten either...), but they see me struggle every day. They can see that I have no idea what to do or how to react to certain things and it excites them. Unfortunately to the point of disobedience quite often. But, I'm betting that a lot of their behaviors spawned from my expectations, even IF I never verbalized those expectations in the first place.

My expectations were never that my boys would be disobedient. Rather, that they would do something (probably mostly out of curiosity than anything else), and I wouldn't know how to handle it. They sense that and act accordingly. We all know kids are smart. We all know they understand more than we think they do. (Even though we know that...) I really think they don't mean to "act up." I do, however, think they sense my own insecurities about myself and my role as a mother and act on that. Anyway. . .

I was thinking a lot this morning about this. I was wondering how to make things different. I was thinking of all the people I could call or email about it and then I thought, "I'm going to dedicate a blog to them, because I love them." So, here I go.

Lance. I love you. I love you because you're kind, funny, affectionate and inquisitive. You're intelligent, you're artistic and creative. You're outgoing and you find a friend in anyone. You have a great memory and speak fondly of those you love. I love you because you love me. You give me hugs and smooches, you help me when I need it. You pick up your toys and put away your clothes. You're good at cleaning the toilet, tub, and doing the dishes. I love you because you want to play with me. I love you because you're a creator. You're going to go far in life. . .I love you b/c you love to snuggle with me, read books with me, draw with me, chop veggies with me, ride bikes with me and sing and dance with me. You're such an entertainer. I love you because you try, even when things are hard. I love you because even when you sneak something you tell me the truth. I love you because your imagination is WILD! You're so much fun. I love your courage in sharing the gospel--unfiltered! Your faith astounds me. I will miss you when you grow up.

Spencer. I love you. I love you because you're sweet and tender. You're strong, you can do most things for yourself, but I love that you let me help you. You're a softy inside. I love you because you have a huge heart and you aim for acceptance and approval. I love you because you use your imagination. I love that you have an imaginary "baby bee" (who is by the way, always responsible when something bad happens.) I love you because you're a jokester. A good jokester. You're jokes are hilarious. I love you because you forgive me and want me to be happy. I love you because you're brave. I love you because you remind me of the Savior when I need it most. You're always talking about Heavenly Father and Jesus and I love that about you. I love to hear you talk with them, especially when you don't know I'm listening. I'm excited to see the man you will become but I mourn how quickly our time together will pass. I will miss you too, when you grow up.

I hope I remember all the things I love about my boys every single day. I hope my expectations of them are always high and that as their mother I nourish their minds and hearts. I hope their earthly experience with me is fulfilling. I hope that no matter how quickly time passes or how fast they "grow up," that they'll always remember how much I love them. I hope they feel it, even when I am frustrated. I hope I teach them well enough so when they are out on their own, they make the right choices. I hope they always remember Heavenly Father and Jesus and develop a strong, personal relationship with Them. I hope when they get married and have children they will remember their time with me and improve upon that. I hope they are a better spouse and parent than I have been. Nothing wrong with improvement right?! :) I hope they always have high aspirations and accomplish great things in their lives. I mostly hope that no matter how long we all live in this life, we will be united eternally. I know we can be, I just hope we will.

You know what show I love? The Cosby Show. I aim to be that kind of parent, but really, . . . is that even possible? I love that show.

The end.

the hooded towel.

No, this is not what's up my sleeve. I've had a few people ask me how to make these and thanks to Diana for showing me how--I can now show you! Seriously, this is the simplest project I've ever done.

And then I forgot to take a picture of this next step, but seriously, I think there are plenty of pictures. After cutting the tip off, press together and zig-zag the edge of that open seem there, (the cut edge of the hand towel that runs down the center)--this keeps it from fraying.

In my history of making these towels, (all in all about 4 now), I have broken 4 needles. These babies are thick.

um, no. . . .

I'm not pregnant. hahahaha. Jennifer T., you're hilarious! I know, I keep saying I'm ready for another, b/c Ivy's been the perfect baby, but no, that's not the surprise. Think more along the "I-have-a-girl-and-I'm-really-excited-about-it-and-I'm-making-her-really-girly-things" line. hahaha. It's really not that big of a deal, I just get excited about such little things and have to make them a big deal b/c I think it's so much fun. So. . . , "fun" coming soon. . . get exited for me. Ivy couldn't care less. This is really all for me. :) Like my SIL told me once, "we don't dress up babies for the babies, we dress them up for us!"

Alright, I'm out!

Coming soon. . .

I have something else up my sleeve. I'm really excited about it. But, it's a surprise and it's coming soon. :)

Things I want to blog about:

Ivy in the fireplace, yikes.

Lance getting sick.

Spencer and his ankle.

Brian's offer, dream and our housing situation.

My goals and projects I'm working on, learning...

Etc. I just need to find the time. And take a few more pictures. And finish some projects and mail them in time for Christmas. Am I kidding myself, or do I still stand a chance of these gifts arriving in time?!

What a fun time of year, even if we don't have snow. I love it here and in a short 5 weeks, we'll be in frigid Boston. I'm excited to see my friends, but totally sad to leave my home and friends here in Clearwater. It's been an amazing 6 months.

Alright, I'm out!

I should wear make-up more often

I need to buy it first. But then I want to wear it. All the time.




yes, I'm wearing clothes, just off the shoulder poses.

Thanks Jessica, I'm so in love with these pictures. I'll cherish them forever. I look at these pictures and I see in myself the way I feel about Ivy. Can it get any better than this?

11.28.08

Because I do not want to forget this.


I've talked with so many different people about being a mom. I've learned a lot of great things. The most valuable "no duh" lesson I've learned so far is that I have to do what works for my family. The problem (initially) is that I couldn't figure out what worked for us. I kept trying to mimic what other people have done/are doing. But it was always someone else's ideas and I just couldn't maintain them. After about 6 months of serious frustration, contemplation and prayer I was inspired with this.



I know, they're just simple goal/reward charts. I just like the way they're personalized for the boys' needs right now. For example, Lance REALLY wants a new pair of spiderman shoes. He just got a new pair for school, 4 months ago. They're still in excellent shape, they still fit, he doesn't NEED new shoes. We can't afford to buy them for him just b/c he wants them. However, he has struggled (since he was really little) with running, jumping, hopping, skipping, etc. He's so much like I was as a child--not coordinated. It makes me feel so bad for him. We have tried working with him in the past and there's just no motivation for him. He's very artistic (and knows it) so it's always a surefire way to escape physical fitness. He'd rather draw than run around and play. So, we've given him incentive. When he achieves a certain level of fitness (i.e. hopping 25 times on one leg, skipping 50 skips, jumping rope, etc.), then he can choose any pair of shoes he wants! A physical fitness goal for an athletic apparel reward...it works.

Both of the boys really want a lightening mcqueen laptop. So, I figured an educational goal would be fitting of an "educational" reward. (I know, it probably just has games on there...oh well). They each have to read 200 books with me (repeat everything I read...), then they have 3 other goals each (such as learning how to read and reading 10 books on his own for lance, reading the alphabet, numbers, and completing his preschool book for spencer) in order to get the laptop!

It's working for us! They are super excited to see their goals and rewards on the wall and they love seeing their progress with smiley faces. :)

I've read so many different things about "encouragement" vs. "bribery." I like to think of this as "encouragement." Others may not see it that way, but this is working so well for us. Not only does it give our children direction and keep them busy, but they're learning the value of working hard to be successful. AND, in order for them to succeed, I have to work with them to achieve their goals! That means I'm spending A LOT more constructive time with them--which was my main goal anyway. I'm finally starting to feel like a successful mom. And their behavior is improving as well. It doesn't happen over night or even in a week, but I can see the improvement already.

I have things I'm working for as well. That'll be my next post!

Yay, this is so fun! When we have something to work for, something to look forward to, and people to love along the way, motherhood really is enjoyable. I'm so thankful to feel this way right now. I love having projects and there's no better or more fulfilling project than my own children.