11.28.08

Because I do not want to forget this.


I've talked with so many different people about being a mom. I've learned a lot of great things. The most valuable "no duh" lesson I've learned so far is that I have to do what works for my family. The problem (initially) is that I couldn't figure out what worked for us. I kept trying to mimic what other people have done/are doing. But it was always someone else's ideas and I just couldn't maintain them. After about 6 months of serious frustration, contemplation and prayer I was inspired with this.



I know, they're just simple goal/reward charts. I just like the way they're personalized for the boys' needs right now. For example, Lance REALLY wants a new pair of spiderman shoes. He just got a new pair for school, 4 months ago. They're still in excellent shape, they still fit, he doesn't NEED new shoes. We can't afford to buy them for him just b/c he wants them. However, he has struggled (since he was really little) with running, jumping, hopping, skipping, etc. He's so much like I was as a child--not coordinated. It makes me feel so bad for him. We have tried working with him in the past and there's just no motivation for him. He's very artistic (and knows it) so it's always a surefire way to escape physical fitness. He'd rather draw than run around and play. So, we've given him incentive. When he achieves a certain level of fitness (i.e. hopping 25 times on one leg, skipping 50 skips, jumping rope, etc.), then he can choose any pair of shoes he wants! A physical fitness goal for an athletic apparel reward...it works.

Both of the boys really want a lightening mcqueen laptop. So, I figured an educational goal would be fitting of an "educational" reward. (I know, it probably just has games on there...oh well). They each have to read 200 books with me (repeat everything I read...), then they have 3 other goals each (such as learning how to read and reading 10 books on his own for lance, reading the alphabet, numbers, and completing his preschool book for spencer) in order to get the laptop!

It's working for us! They are super excited to see their goals and rewards on the wall and they love seeing their progress with smiley faces. :)

I've read so many different things about "encouragement" vs. "bribery." I like to think of this as "encouragement." Others may not see it that way, but this is working so well for us. Not only does it give our children direction and keep them busy, but they're learning the value of working hard to be successful. AND, in order for them to succeed, I have to work with them to achieve their goals! That means I'm spending A LOT more constructive time with them--which was my main goal anyway. I'm finally starting to feel like a successful mom. And their behavior is improving as well. It doesn't happen over night or even in a week, but I can see the improvement already.

I have things I'm working for as well. That'll be my next post!

Yay, this is so fun! When we have something to work for, something to look forward to, and people to love along the way, motherhood really is enjoyable. I'm so thankful to feel this way right now. I love having projects and there's no better or more fulfilling project than my own children.