it makes me tick.

I don't feel like I have a lot to talk about with people, I don't mix well. It's understandable given the croud I try to mix with. . . um, can you say "really smart people," who study all day long every day? Yep, I don't mix well. Picture me (stay at home mom with my own children as my primary interest and concern), at a party with 50 engineers. who also graduated is a masters in business. from MIT. Yep, awkward! I feel like the only thing I have to talk about are my children. I'll be honest, it's all I do. And people tell me to broaden my horizens and find ways to "fill my well" outside of motherhood, but motherhood IS what fills my well right now. And being better at mothering and nurturing my children are what makes me feel successful. It's my business. my career. It's what keeps me ticking everyday. It's what I can talk about. Don't try to talk to me about politics. for some reason I have just NEVER been interested. It doesn't mean I don't have an opinion. It just means I won't talk about my opinion b/c HERE, in bean town, I feel like I have to have a source to back up everything I say. So, I jsut keep my mouth shut. I think I'm more silent now than I ever have been. What's that saying? Something about, 'the more you talk to sound smart the more you reveal your ingnorance. . . smart people listen" . . . or something like that? Well, I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Not b/c I'm smart or informed on the matter at hand, but b/c I probably don't know any better anyway. Yeah, conversations stall pretty quickly with me here in beantown. I'm comfortable on the playground though. And I like people. I might not have much to contribute to a conversation, but I have questions! So, I like to learn about people. The only way to become more like them is to learn more about them.

I want to be calm, happy, kind, patient, in control. I want to be eloquent (but darnit, I'm not there yet), and have a beautiful attitude. I want life to be sweet and fun. I want a clean home, happy, inquisitive, confident children. I want them to be obedient, but not b/c they fear me. B/c they love and respect Heavenly Father and learn to trust that I'm trying to do His will. I want them to know the good and choose the good b/c they are happy when they do. Not b/c they'll get "in trouble" if they don't. We are happy when we choose the right. We are free when we choose the right.

and here are some things that help me. things that make me tick.

baby wearing, holding kids, singing, brite music, shepherding a child's heart book and lectures online, reading lessons, homework (homeschooling possibility)--just exploring different options, playground, scriptures, regular FHE, talking to the kids like they ARE my best friends. friends, family, reading others blogs. knowing there are other options. park. dinner together. cleaning together, READING, goal charts, explaining things in detail. talking about heavenly father and jesus a LOT, including them in our lives. Teaching our children that we are trying to do what he wants us to do and that we're not their enemy or just bullying them or bossing them around. taking pictures to remember. remembering that they were given to me for a reason and I was given to them for a reason and we all get second chances. admitting I make mistakes--"I did that wrong, let me try again." getting advice from other people. networks ARE important outside of business school! haha

I can't say a lot about myself other than I am a mother. And I'm so blessed to be a mother. I love being a mother, even on the hard days. Here are some things that get me through those hard days and help me be even better on those good days.

I feel most successful when: I read to my kids, we clean together, we talk about things, we play together, I have meal plans and we choose healthy options, when I teach my kids about nutrition and THEY make the right choice--ex: we went to a party last week and they only had a few options for food. BBQ pork, mac&cheese, fatty sausage. Lance wanted the sausage and I said, "sure, you can have it, but can I show you something?" "Yeah." I lifted him up and pointed out that all the little (and some BIG) white spots in the sausage were actually chunks of fat. "It's o.k. with me if you choose that, but I just wanted you to know." "Yeah. . . I won't have that." he said as he looked down, head sagging. (and for some reason I felt bad!?) "No, really Lance, you can have it, I just wanted you to know, that's all!" "No mom, it's just fat, I don't want it anymore." and so it goes...

having universal consequences when "natural" consequences haven't been thought out. . . building trust. hearing and repeating phrases I've learned from friends. I didn't think of it and often it's uncomfortable to say, but the more I say it, the more it becomes a part of me and my kids expect it and say it back to me. :) calming tense situations through song. taking away the tv, signing time.

The resources seem endless and I feel like it's impossible to get to everything I already have at my fingertips. I just wanted to share what makes ME tick, what works for our family and what makes all of us the most happy. :)