Ivy Elise

Born Sunday, June 1, 2008
6 lbs. 9 oz.
19 3/4" long
short, dark, curly hair

Our beautiful baby girl is here and we are in love.

Here's the story . . .

I started having very mild (just tightening of the uterus, no pain) but regular contractions (5 minutes apart) 4:30am Sunday morning. (I had contractions like this with Spencer for 2 days, so I didn't take them seriously). I got out of bed, packed for a couple hours (we're moving next tuesday), woke up the boys at 6:30, packed more, cleaned, showered and went to church (1:00-4:00pm). I decided to time the length of and distance between the contractions just for fun--nothing alarming, still 5 minutes apart, lasting for almost a minute each.

After church was over, we went home, and Brian and I prepared dinner together. He had invited a church friend over for dinner, which I didn't exactly want to accomidate, but went along with anyway. By 5:00pm the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, but the intensity of each was still pretty mild. By 5:30 the intensity had increased enough to convince me it was time to go to the hospital. After that each contraction was more and more painful.

(In between contractions just before we left the house)

While I packed my bag, Brian ran to get our car, which was parked a couple blocks away. Upon his arrival, I made my way to the car while Brian took Lance and Spencer to our friends house for the night. I grew more concerned in the car (6:00pm) as each contraction was closer together and suddenly super intense (looking back this was transition). Mt. Auburn Hospital is only a couple of miles from where we live--pretty much a straight shot. However, each Sunday Cambridge closes a part of the main road we would normally use (Memorial Drive) due to festivities, so we had to take a longer alternative route, which caused me great worry!

For those who don't know, I decided to have this baby without an epidural, but by the time we pulled up to the hospital I was in so much pain and scared out of my mind to deliver without one!
As soon as Brian pulled up to the entrance of the hospital (6:15pm), we got out of the car, left all of our stuff in the car with the doors wide open, Brian led me to the elevator and asked, "what should I do? I'll come with you if you want me to, but I can park the car and get our stuff--it's up to you." I told him to park the car, that way none of our stuff would be stolen and he would be able to get pictures and video footage (our cameras, laptop, wallets, etc., were all in the car still).

He sent me up to the 5th floor, and as I hobbled off the elevator, I was yelping for someone to help me. The pain was so intense I could barely scoot my feet across the floor. I had to go down a couple short hallways and was scared I wouldn't find my way to Labor and Delivery fast enough. I arrived at some double locked doors that said, "authorized personnel only." I knocked on the door calling for help, someone opened them, and I hobbled my way through another contraction up to the front desk and whispered, "I don't know where to go." The nurses responded, "well, who are you?" I gave them my name, and they asked me if I had called my midwife. "Oh, no I totally forgot!" "Well, who is your midwife?" they asked. By that time I was bent over with another contraction and couldn't talk. I finally blurted out my midwife's name and began crying in pain.

They helped me to a room (6:22pm) and told me change into a gown, all the while I'm hollaring in pain. I went into the bathroom to change and "relieve" myself one last time. At this point Brian walked in, and I cried for him to bring me something from my bag. He handed me my bag, and the nurses told him to go back downstairs to register me. I finished my business, and as I was exiting the bathroom I felt I couldn't walk anymore. "I don't know why I decided to do this!" I shouted. "What?" asked the nurse, "have another baby?" "No," I responded, "give birth without an epidural!" By this time I was on all fours, and for the first time, I experienced the shamelessness that everyone talked about. I was trying desperately to crawl over to the bed, my gown not even attached, so it was dragging on the ground while I was crawling--totally nude--and she realized I was further along in labor than they thought. (She said they have so many women come in, only dilated to a 2; so not knowing how far along I was when I came in to the hospital, they weren't in a huge hurry). At this point though, she knew I was in transition and she said, "as soon as that contraction is over, book your way over here to the bed and we'll see where you're at!"

I finally made it to the table and they had me lay on my back to put the baby monitor on my stomach and give me an I.V. (a routine test the week earlier indicated I was strep B+ this time, which would require me to have antibiotics through an IV while delivering). I was rocking back and forth, unable to control myself because of the pain, and they helped me stay still while they checked me. The midwife said I was at 8cm and the baby was coming any minute (my water still hadn't broken). Someone made a quick call to the registration desk to tell them to send Brian back upstairs immediately, and within seconds, he was at my side, panting and sweat dripping from his face (6:27pm). Realizing the birth was soon and that the I.V. would barely be in place before the baby was born, the nurses took off the fetal monitor and ceased trying to insert the I.V.

Like I said, I was on my back, but from reading and talking with other people, I knew this was the most painful position to be in. I cried, "do I have to be on my back?" "No," they responded. So, I rolled over to my side and then felt the urge to vomit. I screamed for an epidural. "No time!", they responded, and Brian held up the trash can as I vomited and I felt my body start to push. I cried out, "I HAVE TO PUSH!!!!!" I had also read that I should NOT hold my breath during a contraction, "breathe the baby down....", but there was no way. I could NOT breathe, my body was pushing so hard. My water then burst (I'll spare you the details), and Ivy's head crowned. It hurt so much I yelled "JUST GET HER OUT!" "One more push and she's out!" they encouraged. My body then started pushing fiercly, and again I vomited. I could do nothing but hold my breath through the rest of the push, (lucky for everyone around me, what a relief from all my hollaring), and then she was born! (6:30pm)

(Just after they cleaned us both up)

As soon as she was out I felt immediate relief of pain--it felt so good. They handed her to me, but since I was covered in my own vomit and sitting in a huge pool of--well, you know, the "stuff"--I just wasn't ready to hold her yet. There were so many sensations that I had never felt before since I had an epidural with both boys. It was amazing. Excruciatingly painful, but amazing.

(Just after her first shot)

Looking back, I wouldn't change a single thing. (Well, that's not true. I hope I don't yell next time, I am embarrassed about that). In fact, I plan to do it this way from here on out. I did deliver without medication like I originally wanted to, but I didn't really have a choice given the timeline (basically 30 minutes from when I first felt real pain). It was perfect.

I know that if I labor at the hospital I will inevitably get an epidural, the pain was just so great. I plan to do most of the laboring at home next time, that way I won't give in. I feel so blessed to have experienced Ivy's birth this way. I felt everything. It was not the birth I had envisioned, but it was perfect . . . better than anything I could have planned.



She is absolutely amazing--I am so full of love and graditude right now. This beautiful girl is ours.

Happy Birthday Spencer!

i swear it's spencer's b-day. you'd never know since lance was ripping the presents open too.



65 cupcakes and 40 people later, it was a good time.

puddles are so much fun

funny how when it's lance's turn everyone's happy. sharing is so hard sometimes.

by the way, lance learned how to ride a 2-wheeled bike this week--meaning a bike with no training wheels! yahoo! (thanks brian).

lance graduated preschool

lance has enjoyed preschool these past few months (just started in march). it was a great experience for all of us. hope he does this well when he starts kindergarten in the fall--it's sure going to be an adjustment! i love this boy.

memory lane

i know, we're coming back next january, but have i told you how attached we are to this playground and all of our friends here? can you see why we're going to miss this place? love it. that's all i can say.

who needs a $90 baby bjorn anyway? ikea sells these for just $1.50. . . yeah, we're bargin shoppers.

39 weeks--mixed emotions

it's blurry, i know. this is the longest i've ever held onto a baby. lance was 5 weeks early, spencer 10 days. can you feel the urgency? with the move just 10 days away i'm feeling the stress. i am excited to go to florida, but i hate that i'm leaving my home and my friends behind--won't you all come with me? it's been great to be here. talk about emotional.

For those who are wondering . . .

No, we haven't had our baby yet. Still anxiously waiting. :) Getting a little nervous as far as the move is concerned, but the baby's bound to come any day now. At least it's not getting farther away right? :)

When do I get to go outside?

"Now, mom? Yes or no?"

As of late, this is his favorite question. Always followed by "yes or no?" :)

Spencer likes to watch the tractors

I'm not a "big machinery" buff. Every big machine is called a tractor in my book.

What do you do when a sprinkler breaks?

nothin like a good time with some good friends!

Do you remember when?

When I was growing up my parents had a few "Mormonad" posters hanging in our hallway. I always appreciated the one that said, "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." Can't say I practiced this back then, but it's a phrase that's more meaningful to me now more than ever before.

There have been times when a select group of older kids at the playground have "picked" on Spencer. At first I didn't think anything of it. Kids are kids and sometimes they're ruthless--no big deal. (I remember having favorite friends and I also remember hating when my siblings tagged along with me. I wanted my friends all to myself).

You know how it goes though, the usual taking of toys just because they're bigger and outnumber him. Then, "Hey Spencer, chase us!" only to run away and laugh at him. Then, "Hey Spencer, come play with us . . . and you get to be the bad guy!" None of these "games" are really that big of a deal, except that he feels excluded. He's just too young to understand them. So, he just hangs his head down, walks away and plays by himself. Sometimes he cries, sometimes he yells at them and sometimes he just wants to sit on my lap or have me push him in the swing--which I'm more than happy to do. It just makes me sad when people pick on each other.

I've come down pretty hard on Lance when I witness his involvement, which is almost every time. Aside from long, agonizing talks, what can be worse than watching everyone play, but not be allowed to play with them?! So, his consequence is to sit in a long time-out, listen to me ramble about acceptable vs. unacceptable and watch Spencer and the other kids play.

I've told all the kids that they need to be nice to each other and include everyone in play. If they can't do that, then Lance doesn't get to play with them.

I know I'm partial to my own children, but I really do want everyone to treat each other kindly. I try to make sure they're all being nice to each other, but I don't hesitate to remind them how awful they feel when they're being picked on. I don't like anyone to feel hurt, so I give them the "remember this feeling when others want to play with you" speech. Will it sink in? I don't know, maybe not until they're parents and have kids of their own.

So, on a more positive note, I just want to say I was thrilled when I saw this.


This is one of Lance's main attractions--Damlah (sp?). They play together all the time, sometimes exclusively. It just made me so happy that she was playing with Spencer this day. It reaffirmed to me that ALL of these kids are great kids--they just need some good parental guidance every once in a while.

Hey, even I'm in need of guidance, I hardly claim to have the best behaved boys on the block!
(4-16-08)

no, they're not too big!

It's definitely time to get a bigger bike for Lance. He's so scrunched his knees nearly hit the handle bars as he cruises around the playground. Spencer on the other hand, fits the bike perfectly. But since it's still technically Lances, he has to find other means of transportation. He's grown a lot since last summer and this little car just doesn't fit the bill anymore! (4-16-08)

we got new sand

and I don't think Spencer knew what to do about it. I know, you can't tell by the pictures, but he was beside himself with excitement. At first the men thought he was cute and funny, they were encouraging me to take pictures. By then end they were begging me to get him out of the way. Unlike me and Spencer, these guys have a deadline! (4-16-08)

While Lance is away . . .

Spencer will play.


It's nice to have a little alone time with Spencer while Lance is in Preschool. And sometimes it's nice to have the playground to ourselves. I don't know who's umbrella that is, but Spencer sure had fun with it that day. :) (4-16-08)

One of Those Good Days

You know. . . when everything important matters and everything insignificant takes a back seat. I love those days. (Week of April 13-19/08)

Consoling Mom

When I found out our computer had crashed and we likely lost all our pictures and my journal I called Brian and started crying. Lance said, "are you crying for real mom?" "Yes, Lance," and then I explained why I was so sad. Then Spencer ran up immediately and said, "Don't cry mom, don't cry . . . I turn it on for you, I show you how!" He ran over to the computer, pushed the monitor button and nothing happened (yes the monitor, not the computer), and said, "It's not working mom." Then he came up to me (I was off the phone at this point), reached his arms up for me to hold him and he grabbed my face in his hands, put his face up to mine and started smiling. It was hilarious. He kept bending his head from side to side with his huge smile, didn't say a word. It made me realize that these guys are the most important thing to me--Brian too!--family and friends. It reminds me of the scripture (not looking at them...) that says, "lay up your treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not corrupt. . . " I just realized that if I did indeed lose my journal and pictures the most important thing for me to do was to continue to make great memories with my family. Yes, it's nice to have the past--it hurts to lose parts of it, but the present and future are really what I should focus on. I was just so grateful at that moment for my sweet Spencer. I would much rather lose pictures and journal than my boys. I'll take a computer crash any day!

So, right after I put him down he ran away and a few minutes later he came back with tape over his eyes, "I'm a super hero mom!" He just kept smiling for me. It was touching that he didn't need to say anything; he just needed to be there, be himself. That was all I needed. (First week of May).



And this was Brian's suggestion. When I knew Dell would be calling to help me get the computer running again I was concerned I wouldn't be able to hear the representative--and I wanted to be able to use my hands without hurting my neck. Great idea Brian! I was able to hear everything perfectly, no background noise and best of all I was hands free! (By the way, this was just after the first computer crash. 5-4-08)


P.S.--Spencer was sick the Friday night before (5-2-08 -- vomiting), hence the shampooer in the background.

35 Weeks

I've decided to make a few posts while I can, so here's to back-tracking. 35 Weeks pregnant here. :) (Taken 5-4-08)

Not Again!

Alright, I think we're just going to have to get a new computer. Ours was all repaired, everything was in fantastic working order. However, I just tried to turn on the computer and it had the same blue screen of death as before. So, I'm out of commission once again.

I just wanted to let you all know that if you need to reach me go ahead and email, but I won't be able to check or respond until late each night. Hope to get this all figured out soon! Oh well.

We're back!

Yay! Everything is up and running again--thanks again Dan and Dell for getting us back on track!

A quick update:

I thought my due date was June 9 but found out it's actually June 2. Hmmm, doesn't really matter since the baby will come when she's ready anyway. You want to know why this is relevant? O.K. We're leaving Boston June 10th (it's our last day in the apartment) and we have to be to Florida by the 14th to move into our apartment and the 16th for Brian to start work. That means we're taking 4 days to get there in order to break up the driving and do some sight seeing along the way.

Back to my point. My midwife wants me to have more recovery time before traveling (so do I...), which means she's going to strip my membranes at 38 weeks. (TMI? haha). So, I was looking at my calendar to find out when my 38 week appointment would be. According to the Dr. visit schedule I am currently on, 38 weeks would fall on the 29th of May. Doesn't make since if my due date is the 2nd of June. So, either they haven't updated my weekly appointments to coincide with my due date, or . . . well, if they have always believed my due date was the 2nd of June then nothing else really makes sense. SO . . . the moral of the story is, stripping the membranes doesn't guarantee anything, but if it does happen to induce labor, I could be having this baby in 2 weeks! Aaaah! Ask me if I'm ready. Nope. I still have so much packing to do. So much to figure out before we leave. So many more play dates to have before we ship out! :)

I'm telling you all of this because it means that with everything we have to do before we leave and before the arrival of our baby I won't have a lot of time to blog. There are so many things I want to blog about, so I'll probably be doing some really short entries with just a few pictures in order to spur memories later on when I have time to journal about everything!

Until then . . . . Keep smiling! :)