it makes me tick.

I don't feel like I have a lot to talk about with people, I don't mix well. It's understandable given the croud I try to mix with. . . um, can you say "really smart people," who study all day long every day? Yep, I don't mix well. Picture me (stay at home mom with my own children as my primary interest and concern), at a party with 50 engineers. who also graduated is a masters in business. from MIT. Yep, awkward! I feel like the only thing I have to talk about are my children. I'll be honest, it's all I do. And people tell me to broaden my horizens and find ways to "fill my well" outside of motherhood, but motherhood IS what fills my well right now. And being better at mothering and nurturing my children are what makes me feel successful. It's my business. my career. It's what keeps me ticking everyday. It's what I can talk about. Don't try to talk to me about politics. for some reason I have just NEVER been interested. It doesn't mean I don't have an opinion. It just means I won't talk about my opinion b/c HERE, in bean town, I feel like I have to have a source to back up everything I say. So, I jsut keep my mouth shut. I think I'm more silent now than I ever have been. What's that saying? Something about, 'the more you talk to sound smart the more you reveal your ingnorance. . . smart people listen" . . . or something like that? Well, I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Not b/c I'm smart or informed on the matter at hand, but b/c I probably don't know any better anyway. Yeah, conversations stall pretty quickly with me here in beantown. I'm comfortable on the playground though. And I like people. I might not have much to contribute to a conversation, but I have questions! So, I like to learn about people. The only way to become more like them is to learn more about them.

I want to be calm, happy, kind, patient, in control. I want to be eloquent (but darnit, I'm not there yet), and have a beautiful attitude. I want life to be sweet and fun. I want a clean home, happy, inquisitive, confident children. I want them to be obedient, but not b/c they fear me. B/c they love and respect Heavenly Father and learn to trust that I'm trying to do His will. I want them to know the good and choose the good b/c they are happy when they do. Not b/c they'll get "in trouble" if they don't. We are happy when we choose the right. We are free when we choose the right.

and here are some things that help me. things that make me tick.

baby wearing, holding kids, singing, brite music, shepherding a child's heart book and lectures online, reading lessons, homework (homeschooling possibility)--just exploring different options, playground, scriptures, regular FHE, talking to the kids like they ARE my best friends. friends, family, reading others blogs. knowing there are other options. park. dinner together. cleaning together, READING, goal charts, explaining things in detail. talking about heavenly father and jesus a LOT, including them in our lives. Teaching our children that we are trying to do what he wants us to do and that we're not their enemy or just bullying them or bossing them around. taking pictures to remember. remembering that they were given to me for a reason and I was given to them for a reason and we all get second chances. admitting I make mistakes--"I did that wrong, let me try again." getting advice from other people. networks ARE important outside of business school! haha

I can't say a lot about myself other than I am a mother. And I'm so blessed to be a mother. I love being a mother, even on the hard days. Here are some things that get me through those hard days and help me be even better on those good days.

I feel most successful when: I read to my kids, we clean together, we talk about things, we play together, I have meal plans and we choose healthy options, when I teach my kids about nutrition and THEY make the right choice--ex: we went to a party last week and they only had a few options for food. BBQ pork, mac&cheese, fatty sausage. Lance wanted the sausage and I said, "sure, you can have it, but can I show you something?" "Yeah." I lifted him up and pointed out that all the little (and some BIG) white spots in the sausage were actually chunks of fat. "It's o.k. with me if you choose that, but I just wanted you to know." "Yeah. . . I won't have that." he said as he looked down, head sagging. (and for some reason I felt bad!?) "No, really Lance, you can have it, I just wanted you to know, that's all!" "No mom, it's just fat, I don't want it anymore." and so it goes...

having universal consequences when "natural" consequences haven't been thought out. . . building trust. hearing and repeating phrases I've learned from friends. I didn't think of it and often it's uncomfortable to say, but the more I say it, the more it becomes a part of me and my kids expect it and say it back to me. :) calming tense situations through song. taking away the tv, signing time.

The resources seem endless and I feel like it's impossible to get to everything I already have at my fingertips. I just wanted to share what makes ME tick, what works for our family and what makes all of us the most happy. :)

Ivy :: 8.5 months

When she's happy, her tongue sticks out (curved up at the end--with a point),

and she sings "lalalalalala."

When she's distressed she cries, "mamamamama."

She army crawled at 5.5 months, on all 4s at 6.5 months.

She's been pulling herself up to stand for quite some time. Now she walks along side objects and occasionally stands on her own.

When she plays, she loves to kneel.

She smiles at everyone, laughs at most and lunges for people when she's really excited.

She does NOT have stranger anxiety.

She has a distinct scream when she wants me to rescue her from the boys.

She weighs 20.8 pounds.

She loves to jump. When I hold her in my lap with my hands under her arms, she jumps several times, then weakens her knees and buries her head in my chest and laughs. Over and over and over.

She loves bath time.

She still wakes several times a night to feed. I know, I need to sleep train her.

She hates getting strapped into her car seat.

She loves to explore and has no fear of wandering far away.

She has never eaten "baby food." She eats fresh fruits and veggies, cut up.

She has 2 bottom teeth.

She has green eyes, brownish hair.

She is happy. All the time.

She makes all of us laugh and smile. All the time.

What in the world. . .

are these?

Will I ever post again?

I don't know. I just have too much to do. Too many other things I'm concerned about. And I've stopped taking pictures since we moved. I got out my camera yesterday, lance was all bundled and playing in the snow. Fun boy. But that's it.

I'm still unpacking. It's slow going. But I'm almost finished. Now I need to mop the floors (still haven't done that since we moved in...yuck.) Wouldn't be so bad if it were just our grime, but it was messy when we moved in. I guess I'm just telling myself Ivy will have a stronger immune system b/c of it.

I know, now that I'm a mother of 3, even I'm astounded what I'm willing to let go. Priorities. I keep telling myself that. haha.

later. v

Well, I didn't get it done.

I thought I would have more time to sort and post pictures. But the day has come. We're packing the trailer (shhhh, don't tell brian i'm on the computer--I'm supposed to be checking on the kids. . . ), we have family pictures on the beach in 1 hour and 40 minutes, we're going out to dinner to celebrate our time here in sun-shiny state, and we have a million other things to be doing to prepare for our 8am departure tomorrow!

I can't believe how fast this internship has come and gone. We're heading back up to boston (to arrive on the 27th of january), to finish Brian's schooling (to graduate in June) and really look forward to seeing our friends and living at westgate again.

But, Florida now holds a very special place in our hearts and we'll miss our friends here WAY TOO MUCH. I'm sad to leave such good people, but in all honesty, good people aren't scarce. They seem to be every place we've been. :) I'm glad for that.

Alright people, wish us luck as we make our trek back up to frigid temperatures and a school that takes way too much of Brian's time away from us. This really has been a 7 month vacation! We've loved it here and we're thankful for wonderful memories!

See all you Bostonians soon!

the kisbys are out!

Spencer has an imagination.

He uses it every day.

Backlogging--making gingerbread houses.

It's in the title. We made gingerbread houses. I'm just now getting around to sorting pictures. I figure since we're moving this coming saturday morning and I won't have internet access--at least blogging access--for a couple weeks, I may as well do some catching up. :)

This is my first time ever baking gingerbread. It was fun. I really wanted to let the boys help me roll it out and cut shapes, but the dough was more sticky than I thought it would be. And lets face it. I just couldn't give up the control of having near perfect shapes for our houses. They got to decorate them at least.

For the rest, the pictures speak for themselves.

Brian did help with getting the structure to stand, but the boys did surprisingly well decorating their own houses. And eating all the frosting. And then asking for more. But there wasn't anymore. Because they ate it all.

I waited until it was the children's bedtime. And then I let Brian put the kids to bed while I decorated. In peace. And quiet. Thanks Brian. :)

I don't know why we don't have pictures of the boys houses. Oh yeah. . . they trashed them before I could get the finished product. Oh well. To kids it's just a cookie, frosting and candy. Who cares what it looks like.

It's no tropical cabana, but mine was the tastiest of all. I'm sure of it.

And this little guy? I have to say he must have been most impressed with my house as well. His eyes are popping right out of his head!

December twenty-sixth.

beach. sunshine. warmth.

ivy sleeping. boys playing with dad. swimming. splashing. taking pictures.

eating oranges. grapefruit. carrots. drinking water.

meeting new people.

spencer playing in the sand.

lance kicking a beach ball. ball floats away. bye-bye beach ball.

happy. thankful. excited.

sunburns. smiles. tears.

clear sky. ocean sounds.

sand castles. collecting shells.

family. love. joy.

perfection.

because i love them.

I was once given advice from a friend that I've come to appreciate greatly. It was advice she was given by her mom and although not originally intended for me, it was something I needed to hear. I'm surprised at how much I've revealed in the past in my blog. My struggles mainly. I guess b/c I'm not talking to someone's face it feels like a "tell all" journal. A place I come to to let out my frustrations, excitement etc. Although I've received many helpful and encouraging comments, I realized after talking to my friend, that I didn't want to be so negative about my boys.

The advice. . . "you need to stop writing negative stuff about them or they'll come to believe it and become that person." I guess I always assumed that if my boys didn't "know" any better about my writing about them, then there wouldn't be a problem. I assumed that if I didn't say anything to their face then they wouldn't be able to become something other than decent men. I feel I was wrong in those assumptions. Mainly b/c actions speak louder than words. I don't tell them they're "rotten boys" or anything like that. (I don't feel they're rotten either...), but they see me struggle every day. They can see that I have no idea what to do or how to react to certain things and it excites them. Unfortunately to the point of disobedience quite often. But, I'm betting that a lot of their behaviors spawned from my expectations, even IF I never verbalized those expectations in the first place.

My expectations were never that my boys would be disobedient. Rather, that they would do something (probably mostly out of curiosity than anything else), and I wouldn't know how to handle it. They sense that and act accordingly. We all know kids are smart. We all know they understand more than we think they do. (Even though we know that...) I really think they don't mean to "act up." I do, however, think they sense my own insecurities about myself and my role as a mother and act on that. Anyway. . .

I was thinking a lot this morning about this. I was wondering how to make things different. I was thinking of all the people I could call or email about it and then I thought, "I'm going to dedicate a blog to them, because I love them." So, here I go.

Lance. I love you. I love you because you're kind, funny, affectionate and inquisitive. You're intelligent, you're artistic and creative. You're outgoing and you find a friend in anyone. You have a great memory and speak fondly of those you love. I love you because you love me. You give me hugs and smooches, you help me when I need it. You pick up your toys and put away your clothes. You're good at cleaning the toilet, tub, and doing the dishes. I love you because you want to play with me. I love you because you're a creator. You're going to go far in life. . .I love you b/c you love to snuggle with me, read books with me, draw with me, chop veggies with me, ride bikes with me and sing and dance with me. You're such an entertainer. I love you because you try, even when things are hard. I love you because even when you sneak something you tell me the truth. I love you because your imagination is WILD! You're so much fun. I love your courage in sharing the gospel--unfiltered! Your faith astounds me. I will miss you when you grow up.

Spencer. I love you. I love you because you're sweet and tender. You're strong, you can do most things for yourself, but I love that you let me help you. You're a softy inside. I love you because you have a huge heart and you aim for acceptance and approval. I love you because you use your imagination. I love that you have an imaginary "baby bee" (who is by the way, always responsible when something bad happens.) I love you because you're a jokester. A good jokester. You're jokes are hilarious. I love you because you forgive me and want me to be happy. I love you because you're brave. I love you because you remind me of the Savior when I need it most. You're always talking about Heavenly Father and Jesus and I love that about you. I love to hear you talk with them, especially when you don't know I'm listening. I'm excited to see the man you will become but I mourn how quickly our time together will pass. I will miss you too, when you grow up.

I hope I remember all the things I love about my boys every single day. I hope my expectations of them are always high and that as their mother I nourish their minds and hearts. I hope their earthly experience with me is fulfilling. I hope that no matter how quickly time passes or how fast they "grow up," that they'll always remember how much I love them. I hope they feel it, even when I am frustrated. I hope I teach them well enough so when they are out on their own, they make the right choices. I hope they always remember Heavenly Father and Jesus and develop a strong, personal relationship with Them. I hope when they get married and have children they will remember their time with me and improve upon that. I hope they are a better spouse and parent than I have been. Nothing wrong with improvement right?! :) I hope they always have high aspirations and accomplish great things in their lives. I mostly hope that no matter how long we all live in this life, we will be united eternally. I know we can be, I just hope we will.

You know what show I love? The Cosby Show. I aim to be that kind of parent, but really, . . . is that even possible? I love that show.

The end.

the hooded towel.

No, this is not what's up my sleeve. I've had a few people ask me how to make these and thanks to Diana for showing me how--I can now show you! Seriously, this is the simplest project I've ever done.

And then I forgot to take a picture of this next step, but seriously, I think there are plenty of pictures. After cutting the tip off, press together and zig-zag the edge of that open seem there, (the cut edge of the hand towel that runs down the center)--this keeps it from fraying.

In my history of making these towels, (all in all about 4 now), I have broken 4 needles. These babies are thick.

um, no. . . .

I'm not pregnant. hahahaha. Jennifer T., you're hilarious! I know, I keep saying I'm ready for another, b/c Ivy's been the perfect baby, but no, that's not the surprise. Think more along the "I-have-a-girl-and-I'm-really-excited-about-it-and-I'm-making-her-really-girly-things" line. hahaha. It's really not that big of a deal, I just get excited about such little things and have to make them a big deal b/c I think it's so much fun. So. . . , "fun" coming soon. . . get exited for me. Ivy couldn't care less. This is really all for me. :) Like my SIL told me once, "we don't dress up babies for the babies, we dress them up for us!"

Alright, I'm out!

Coming soon. . .

I have something else up my sleeve. I'm really excited about it. But, it's a surprise and it's coming soon. :)

Things I want to blog about:

Ivy in the fireplace, yikes.

Lance getting sick.

Spencer and his ankle.

Brian's offer, dream and our housing situation.

My goals and projects I'm working on, learning...

Etc. I just need to find the time. And take a few more pictures. And finish some projects and mail them in time for Christmas. Am I kidding myself, or do I still stand a chance of these gifts arriving in time?!

What a fun time of year, even if we don't have snow. I love it here and in a short 5 weeks, we'll be in frigid Boston. I'm excited to see my friends, but totally sad to leave my home and friends here in Clearwater. It's been an amazing 6 months.

Alright, I'm out!

I should wear make-up more often

I need to buy it first. But then I want to wear it. All the time.




yes, I'm wearing clothes, just off the shoulder poses.

Thanks Jessica, I'm so in love with these pictures. I'll cherish them forever. I look at these pictures and I see in myself the way I feel about Ivy. Can it get any better than this?

11.28.08

Because I do not want to forget this.


I've talked with so many different people about being a mom. I've learned a lot of great things. The most valuable "no duh" lesson I've learned so far is that I have to do what works for my family. The problem (initially) is that I couldn't figure out what worked for us. I kept trying to mimic what other people have done/are doing. But it was always someone else's ideas and I just couldn't maintain them. After about 6 months of serious frustration, contemplation and prayer I was inspired with this.



I know, they're just simple goal/reward charts. I just like the way they're personalized for the boys' needs right now. For example, Lance REALLY wants a new pair of spiderman shoes. He just got a new pair for school, 4 months ago. They're still in excellent shape, they still fit, he doesn't NEED new shoes. We can't afford to buy them for him just b/c he wants them. However, he has struggled (since he was really little) with running, jumping, hopping, skipping, etc. He's so much like I was as a child--not coordinated. It makes me feel so bad for him. We have tried working with him in the past and there's just no motivation for him. He's very artistic (and knows it) so it's always a surefire way to escape physical fitness. He'd rather draw than run around and play. So, we've given him incentive. When he achieves a certain level of fitness (i.e. hopping 25 times on one leg, skipping 50 skips, jumping rope, etc.), then he can choose any pair of shoes he wants! A physical fitness goal for an athletic apparel reward...it works.

Both of the boys really want a lightening mcqueen laptop. So, I figured an educational goal would be fitting of an "educational" reward. (I know, it probably just has games on there...oh well). They each have to read 200 books with me (repeat everything I read...), then they have 3 other goals each (such as learning how to read and reading 10 books on his own for lance, reading the alphabet, numbers, and completing his preschool book for spencer) in order to get the laptop!

It's working for us! They are super excited to see their goals and rewards on the wall and they love seeing their progress with smiley faces. :)

I've read so many different things about "encouragement" vs. "bribery." I like to think of this as "encouragement." Others may not see it that way, but this is working so well for us. Not only does it give our children direction and keep them busy, but they're learning the value of working hard to be successful. AND, in order for them to succeed, I have to work with them to achieve their goals! That means I'm spending A LOT more constructive time with them--which was my main goal anyway. I'm finally starting to feel like a successful mom. And their behavior is improving as well. It doesn't happen over night or even in a week, but I can see the improvement already.

I have things I'm working for as well. That'll be my next post!

Yay, this is so fun! When we have something to work for, something to look forward to, and people to love along the way, motherhood really is enjoyable. I'm so thankful to feel this way right now. I love having projects and there's no better or more fulfilling project than my own children.

11.03.08

I love these pictures, even if they are grainy. I'm so in love with this little girl.

trying to figure this out.

bear with me as I figure out what you all already know. big pictures and a blog page that actually doesn't make your eyes sick. I don't want to get too technical with this blog. I don't want it to be too fancy. Just trying to figure out how to have a side bar and a big picture. And how in the world do you make a different header? I'm sure there are options here on blogger, haven't figured it out yet though. :)

trying something new.

one hundred percent inspired by allegra. what do you think?

The baby shower

My big project for October and November. So much fun. Once it was over I thought, "now what?" It was such a lonely feeling. :) I love having projects. "Something to love, something to do, something to look forward to." That's what Brian always says. Now, if only I put this much effort into everyday of motherhood--It's exhausting but so worth the effort!

I had zero memory left on my memory cards, so all of these pictures are courtesy of Jackie. Thanks for capturing the memories for all of us! :)

THE CAKE

My first time making a diaper cake. Colorful, fun, simple. fits me. I love how it turned out.

(all images on a CD, so I couldn't rotate).

THE CLOTHESLINE

Love it! What I love more is all the clothes were on sale at old Navy! My favorite? The Super Ninja!

THE TISSUE PAPER CURTAINS

Hilarious, I know. But I'm learning to be resourceful while living away from most of my belongings!

THE MAIN DISPLAY

This girl has nothing. O.K., she's alive so she obviously has something. But, you get my point. She literally has 3 pictures of this pregnancy (all of which were taken in the first 15 weeks--not showing phase), and about 10 other photos of her life. I wanted to spoil her. No, I'm not a photographer (want to be, not creatively there yet). So, I thought it would be a good photographic opportunity of growth for me and a great memory for her. A HUGE shout out to Allegra for editing the picture for me. It was a good shot (good thing I took 200 pictures to get this one--hahaha). But seriously, photoshop is the way to go. So, she antiqued the picture for me and wrote "baby of mine" (with the date) on the top right. It turned out so nice.

She's a country-ish, rustic type girl, so this was a fitting choice, but I also loved this other one. I love how bright the colors are. Allegra, that was a hard choice, but that's a good thing! :)

THE LADY OF HONOR

THE PRICE IS RIGHT

My and Brian's gift to her, besides the shower. So much fun watching her open up all the gifts. Even more fun to have everyone guess the average price! I love this game.

THE PRIZE

For winning "the price is right" and also 2 other drawings we had. (1 raffle for bringing diapers, the other for bringing gift receipts). DVDs! I loved this idea. The funny thing is, Jessica (the one in the picture), is the one who helped me pick out all the chick flicks (had a great assortment to choose from, the rest I'll be returning), and she WON! That's why I'm laughing.

THE HOOTER HIDER

This was Christina's gift to Kristin. She bought the fabric, I sewed it for her.

THE HOODED TOWELS

I loved the one Diana made for me, so I called her for directions. So easy! One blue with green polka-dotted ribbon and one green....well, you can see...

THE PHOTO ALBUM

Not the best pictures (worst ones at the end--hahaha). But, memories nonetheless. Now she has a little book of herself! :) She's VERY photogenic!

THE POM POMS

I love these. They're so simple to make, just time consuming. I was up with Jackie and Christina until 1:30am the night before the shower making and hanging these! I would have made more, but we ran out of time. :)

THE CUPCAKES AND BEAN SALSA

I stayed up until 3:30am decorating the cupcakes. I wanted to make the mini cupcakes, easier and less messy to eat. I thought I'd get 24 minis (since you get 12 reg. from one box of mix), but instead ended up with 48! Whew! (multiplied by 3) That took a LOT longer than I expected. Not a good picture of them, they're in the back...And that bean salsa? Best in the world! Fresh pineapple? Only way to go. The rest of the food provided by her mother-in-law and 2 sisters-in-law. Thanks girls! What a help. and Yummy!

And to top it all off?

Brian was gone the whole week prior to this shower! So throw in cleaning, shampooing the carpets, taking care of the kids, and our traditional "Pizza and a movie" Friday night, and it made for a busy week while he was gone! In fact, the shower started at 11 and Brian walked in at 11:30 Saturday morning! Boy, I lucked out with him getting home in the nick of time!